Elements of requests
Individually or in organisational role many of us make many requests or have many requests made of us.
It may seem obvious but request don’t even have to be about business per se but may occur in general conversations during lunch or other breaks or travel.
If you are in an organisation consider how many requests you make each day: It may be 10 to 20 or even more.
Consider how many requests are made of you, remembering that requests can occur physically as when directly talking to another person or more likely by email.
As an example, if you make just 10 requests day and you receive 10 – that’s obviously 20 a day.
Multipling that by 5 equals 100 a week and then 48 weeks in the (working) year makes the number of requests you deal with over 5000.This is probably a grossly underestimated figure and you most likely encounter many more.
Just think, 5000 a year many of which probably have a poor outcome: either not done, not done as you or the requestor required or some other challenge to their fulfillment.
You can increase this figure substantially more if you consider the requests you make or that are made of you out of the work environment. How many requests, in all their forms happen at home?
Organisationally this is not measured. No accounting rule covers language costs but the costs to companies from the making and receiving of poor requests are massive in terms of time, money and damage to the culture of the organisation.
At the very least it can be very frustrating, and working relationships suffer from misunderstandings and the resulting emotional upheavals.
What most of us do is issue and receive what we call sloppy requests: requests couched in terms that are ambiguous, inaccurate and unclear and do not produce the results we require – or the results that are required of us.
We might think we are being clear about what we ask, but the outcomes speak otherwise.
Sloppy requests put the responsibility for clarification on the listener and often this clarification does not happen: the listener, the requestee goes off with, at best with a few ingredients missing or at worse does not have a clue about what is required of her of him.
What then are requests?
Requests are the act of seeking cooperation of one or more listeners to take action.
We are asking for a hand with a task or help and a request occurs when there is an explicit
action – which without asking may not have occurred.
In other words, the task does not get done and the outcome is not as expected.
On the other hand, a well-formed request will produce the desired result.
Examples of poor requests are:
You need to do this now;
The filing is a disaster: can you tidy it up;
We need to get moving on this;
Can you get back to me with an answer?
These requests show some level of imprecision, lack of criteria, lack of time or are at best a hint.
Requests needs a number of key ingredients to be effective and I’m going to briefly outline 12 of them.
There’s no need to panic though: you don’t need to have 12 items for each request. What the list will tell you though is what may be incorporated into your requests if you don’t seem to be getting the results you desire.
1. Listener
– Who is the request aimed at? Is the listener listening and furthermore, what are they hearing? Are they present both physically and mentally?
Example: “We are out of coffee” may sound like a legitimate request to you but if you are simply vocalizing it to the room then who specifically is listening.
Hints may get the job done, more often it they just add to a general frustration.
2. Speaker
–In some ways, this is like the previous example. Imagine you’re in an office situation and you can hear someone, perhaps your boss, crashing around the photocopier, generally huffing and puffing. This is a request without a speaker. It’s a hint for help and cooperation without a clear request being uttered…or perhaps the utterings are words we can’t repeat here!
3. Something is missing (a breakdown)
– There needs to be a reason for making a request and usually this is because something is missing, that if provided, would take care of your concerns. We may be in a stage where we are frustrated, overwhelmed and not getting things done and what is often missing is the making of an effective request. In other words, the asking of cooperation and help. We call this interruption in the normal transparency of our lives a breakdown and this is not to be confused with a mental breakdown. What we mean by breakdown is a disruption of some sort with the flow of our lives.
4. Future action
– What specifically is the requirement and what needs to get done. Posing a request like “Can you tidy up the filing”, while possibly achieving some outcome is vague enough to fail, as it leaves so many details unsaid and lacks precision.
5. Conditions of satisfaction (standards)
– Who’s standard are you expecting to be complied with and are the standards obvious to both parties. If there are standards present then perhaps a question to be asked here is, are the standards realistic?
6. Shared background of obviousness (Shared meaning)
– Whoever is receiving the request understands –within the organization’s shared meaning –what needs to be done. Asking for a sales report for a Friday meeting assumes the receiver knows the specific requirements of the report and the details and circumstances of the Friday meeting – and a lot of other information.
While it may be easy to take the easy way out and say, “I shouldn’t have to explain.” If you are not getting the results you require then this way of being around requests may need to be revised.
7. Time frame
– While seemingly an obvious ingredient how often is it left out either because we assume… or we are wishy washy around being too demanding. If you need something done by a certain date or time, then state it.
8. Emotion & mood
– Not just yours but also the other, in stating the request we need to be aware of the emotional frame of mind of the requestor and the requestee. Voice pitch, volume speed and tone and the words used are all influenced by the prevailing moods at the time and this greatly effects the listening of the requests…and their outcomes.
Moods of resentment or anxiety clearly affect our way of being and these types of moods will result in a different outcome to those, curiosity or excitement. Interpretations of the requests are made differently depending on the emotional state of the requestee.
9. Trust
– there are four elements involved in trust:Sincerity; competence; reliability and Involvement. I’ll talk about these in more details at another time but for example, ask yourself this: does the person you are asking have the required competence? If you are asking them to review technical details of an IT implementation are they qualified to do so?
Does your son or daughter have the competence to clean their room or to wash the car?
If you want your son or daughter to wash the car are you confident they have the skills and training to do a good job or are you prepared to accept the consequences of a poor job. The only right answer is the one formed from the results you want.
If I had an old car for example I might be perfectly happy to let them have a go and learn on the job. On the other hand, if I had a brand-new car I would want to ensure that they knew about keeping the sponge clean and so on. But that could just be me. Your requirements may vary!
10. Mode
– In what mode is the request made. Request can be made in so many ways nowadays but is the mode appropriate and will it allow adequate explanations and relaying of these ingredients. It may be important (or necessary) to make the request by email for record keeping reasons for example, but if not, can the request be delivered far more effectively in person and still be effective? Perhaps more effective. Email can be particularly challenging to convey meaning and incorporate some of these aspects of requests into what we hope is a more human workplace.
11. Context
– Context is, in some ways about why? The person making the request is hopefully quite clear why they are asking for action to take place – but Is the reason for the request clear to the requestee?
Giving them the rationale behind the request allows them to see how it fits in with their world and enables sense-making around the request.
12. The Body
– Consider your emotions and posture when issuing a request: ensure requests are made from a legitimate body that is, one where you exhibit a legitimate right to make the request. Many of us make requests framed as an apology and this devalues the request. Either you are making a request or you are not.
Making the request from a strong physically and emotional state does not mean that you are ignoring the other persons work load, for example: you may still show concern for the others concerns. What it does mean however is that the request is accepted as genuine, and not one where the receiver feels that you would rather they didn’t perform the request!
You can consider requests like making a pizza: there are several core ingredients that are essential, such as a pizza base, tomato sauce and cheese but after that the rest are just extras and add to the experience in different ways.
Some of the key ingredients of an effective request are:
The request is made to a specific listener
The reason for the request is clear
The request specifies the future action to be performed
A time frame is specified
Standards are specified
There is a shared understanding
A generic structure of a request is: “I request that you do A for me according to B (standards) for C (reasons) by D (time).”
This may sound a little formal and mechanistic but I’m sure you get the idea.
So how do you have confidence your request will be fulfilled and the requestee has agreed to your request?
Getting a YES, means you have a declaration of acceptance and a request plus a declaration of acceptance equals a PROMISE
A good promise is an agreement.
Another response is that the request can be declined. This is less likely in an organizational role but quite possible at home!
There may be a counter offer.
The requestee is in a mindset of acceptance but may want to clarify some details, or change some details so that the request is somewhat different than that put forth at first.
In doing this the requestee is committing to commit later. This is not an excuse to fail to come back with an answer
Delaying a response. You may agree to come back to the requestor at a late time with a definite answer
Many times, however, you are going to come up against what we call Slippery Promises: some are basic and obvious but some are a lot more subtle.
For example, “I’ll get back to you” or “let me think about it”
Remember, silence is not agreement or acceptance.
Consider keeping a log of how many requests you make and receive – just for a few days. You’ll soon get a feel for the vast quantity that occur in and out of business and home and how effective they are…or are not.
Be aware that sloppy request can be hard to catch:
In particular, look out for hints:
“The dishwasher is empty” or “Would someone be able to take care of this?”
Requests occur in a multitude of situations in everyday conversations and play a large part in our interactions. Making an effective request is one of the most effective forms of communication that eliminates confusion and conflicts in the workplace… and in the home.
SOURCE: “Coaching to the Human Soul: Ontological Coaching and Deep Change,” Alan Sieler. Newfield Institute, Australia.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download